the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
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I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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