I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
