On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
