I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize