Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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