I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i drank out of a bidet.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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