OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
