My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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