just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
