But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize