ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it's great music for shaving your balls
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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