I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
