Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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