There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
So. Much. Porn.
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