All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize