umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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