So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
