Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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