put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize