The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
