I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize