I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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