If i come over, it means nothing
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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