i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
