the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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