I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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