dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
