Just fell off a train. Bad.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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