forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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