That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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