Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
