if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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