I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
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