Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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