i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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