Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I looked at my own cervix.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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