That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
