Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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