I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
