worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
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work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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