this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
