Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
