i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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