Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
