He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
