I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
