I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
