just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
