also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
