Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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