a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
