she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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