Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
