Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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