Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
