Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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