Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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